Being . . .
The challenge of my life of late is just being. Not being something or someone but just being. It is so easy to get caught up in identification of titles, possessions and status. I have wondered if I would feel differently about myself if I were to suddenly become paralyzed from the neck down and be totally dependant on others. I would lose all the external attachments and be left only with myself as I am, the unchanging eternal nature of my soul. How much of my identity is attached to ideas, possessions and abilities? It is a good question to ponder. I enjoy living life, of being a partner to another person, the opportunity to parent children, the pleasure of eating out with friends, of being able to move and laugh and sing. I enjoy talking and listening, taking a walk, reading books and going shopping. I like to travel and wear cute clothes and get my hair done at the salon. I love soft blankets and good movies. I even enjoy working on occasion. All of these pleasures are part of my life and I am grateful for them. But if I lost each and every one of those joys not one part of who I really am would be lost at all. My inner joy and the pleasure I take in those activities exist inside myself as an insular and intrinsic part of my nature. While it is tempting to attach myself to the many wonders that are all around me the most freeing statement I can make about myself is this-I am.