The Martyr / Saint Archetype

The Martyr

Martyrs have a crippling need for validation, appreciation, sometimes sympathy, acknowledgement, reciprocation and support. There is a strong belief that if you give enough, sacrifice your desires in a big enough way, if you suffer only for the good of others, then you will be appreciated and given the recognition you crave. The irony is that the Martyr has difficulty receiving even the praise and appreciation they long for. The Martyr feels they must take care of everything and everyone, yet they refuse to receive in return. Their constant sacrifice and giving permits them to manipulate and feel superior to those they are helping, even as they complain about how deprived they are. They are impossible to satisfy. If the Martyr feels that you are unappreciative of them, (and they always will) they can become distant, cold and resentful.
 
The Martyr is easily stuck in a negative pattern because the Martyr really believes they are doing the right thing even at the expense of their own creativity, health and well-being. The Martyr uses sacrifice and suffering for others to hide their unwillingness to develop their own lives and cultivate their own creativity. Martyrs spend their lives rescuing, fixing, supporting and giving up what they want for others all the while expecting others to do the same for them. Martyrs will sometimes allow themselves to be the scapegoat for situations-taking the blame for others, feeling responsible for others’ actions, and allowing the finger to be pointed at them, never defending themselves. Martyrs seem unusually eager to be at fault, requiring them to even greater degrees of self-sacrifice and suffering that entrenches the Martyr in the shadow
 
The Martyr uses sacrifices as a way to control and manipulate others. They use it to induce guilt, (children are especially vulnerable to this) to dominate others, such as making the sacrifice the focus of everyone’s lives whether they agree or not and to position themselves as superior. Much of their suffering is self-induced. For example, a Martyr will give up their dreams, i.e. getting a degree, having children, owning a business, etc. for the other person or people for which the sacrifice is being made. But giving up their dreams causes bitterness, resentment and anger that other people are forced to deal with. It is a form of self-betrayal that punishes everyone. 
 
Far beneath the surface of the long-suffering Martyr is a deeply dysfunctional relationship with the Self. They often feel unworthy of happiness, joy and opportunities and will routinely sabotage. They give and give and find it very difficult to receive and sometimes they believe that receiving is of no value. The desire to sacrifice usually stems from a poor self-image and lack of control. While they are quick to take responsibility for this, they simultaneously feel powerless to change it. Only suffering and sacrifice make them worthy of anything although it is never quite enough. Suffering can be a way for the Martyr to feel special. Because of this Martyrs often find themselves in co-dependent relationships where the other partner may use flattery and guilt to keep the martyr giving. If you find yourself in this kind of a relationship transforming the Martyr will be particularly difficult. At its worst, the Martyr is fanatical, self-righteous, self-centered and controlling.
 
Some key words associated with the Martyr archetype.

1. Sacrifice
2. Suffering
3. Difficulty Receiving
4. Giving Too Much
5. Manipulation through Guilt
6. Punishment
7. Needs Acknowledgment
8. Pushes Others Away
9. Unworthiness
10. Being Special

The Saint
 
The core of the Saint archetype is about doing the right thing. Sometimes that means doing the right thing when the whole world is against it. The Saint asks the question: What is right for me? What is right for me to do for others? What would be of benefit for everyone? The Saint can see what needs to be done to benefit the whole and is excellent at recognizing the opportunity to give. The Saint is also aware that receiving graciously allows them to continue to serve and sacrifice. They know that giving and receiving go hand in hand. When the Martyr sees what needs to happen, they can make the CHOICE to sacrifice without expectation of others or feeling obligated themselves. 
 
The Saint knows they have the strength to endure, where others may not. They willingly step into that role with humility and integrity. They realize that part of their life’s journey involves sacrificing for others and doing so brings them a sense of purpose and joy. The Saint does not, however, sacrifice their own values, their personal dreams and aspirations, their creativity or self-care. They have healthy boundaries and they know that they can only truly serve and sacrifice for others when they have their individuality and sense of Self intact.
 
The Saint does not seek validation from others and are not needy of praise and approval. They recognize the value they bring to their families, businesses and those people for whom the sacrifice is being made. They are often the rock upon whom so many others rely. The Saint knows that their sacrifice matters and that they can be a source of redemption for others as well as for themselves. They know instinctively that they are a source of strength for others and they see their ability to stand at the center, even to be invisible at times, while supporting others. That is not to say that they don’t enjoy being acknowledged and appreciated by others, (no one will enjoy it more) they just don’t NEED it.
 
The Saint can use their great strengths for personal empowerment. One example would be to sacrifice the ego and to resurrect the true Self. Another would be to sacrifice approval and acknowledgement to do what they believe is best for their own self- respect. The Saint, at its very best, is noble, selfless, reliable and strong, able to endure great suffering without becoming embittered by it.
 
History is full of examples of individuals or groups of individuals who made great sacrifices for the good of the whole. Nelson Mandela is one example. He stood out publicly against apartheid in South Africa between the 1940’s and the 1960’s and was sentenced to life in prison. He was imprisoned for twenty-seven years before his release during which time his reputation grew. He consistently refused to compromise himself and his political position to obtain his freedom. After his release he was elected President of South Africa and he helped bring freedom and democracy to the country.
Another example is the women of the suffrage movement. There are dozens of examples of Martyrs in the movement. Women like Susan B. Anthony. She gave up everything traditional for a woman of her day, including children, in her quest to bring rights and freedom to women. She died shortly before seeing her lifelong efforts rewarded. Alice Paul was another leader of the women’s movement for equality. She spent time in prison on a hunger strike and was force-fed through a tube. She was an incredibly strong woman and held the movement together when it threatened to fall apart. Both women were uncompromising individuals that changed the world for women everywhere.
 

1. Sacrifice by Choice
2. Strength to Endure
3. Noble
4. Redemption
5. Doing Right
6. Humility
7. Integrity
8. Self Value
9. Supporting Others
10. Willing to Receive