Humility is a virtue that for many of us feels uncomfortable to own. Meek and lowly. It has a quality of inferiority and submissiveness that makes it feel powerless. I have personally struggled with it my entire life. Being humble felt like an admonition to play small and be insignificant. But arrogance and superiority were equally troublesome. In my quest to discover the path to true humility I started with a search for the etymological meaning of the word. This led me to a completely new understanding of the word.
Language is under a constant state of revision. Religion, culture, environment and other factors contribute to this perceptual shift that eventually results in having to modernize and update the dictionary. But returning to a word’s original meaning can help restore a deeper understanding of it.
The word humility has its roots in the Latin word humilis, which means literally, “on the ground” or “low to the ground” and comes from the word humus which means “earth.” This word has its origins in the Proto-Indo European word dhghem a root that also means “earth.” From this root word we get many words such as exhume, human, homo sapiens and homage.
I liked this new interpretation of a word I thought I understood. On the ground. Humility could even mean, being grounded, connected to not only the earth but being grounded in reality. Solid, reliable and earthy. It’s easy to see how it evolved into its current meaning but I found myself thinking about how to practice humility in my personal life.
How can I stand on solid earth? What does that mean? I think of solid ground as truth or reality. Not what I want or what I hope or want others to perceive but life exactly as it is. If I am feeling confused then solid ground might be acknowledging, I am confused. This statement puts me right on the ground where I can work with reality. It can work in reverse too. If you have a hard time seeing your strengths look to the facts (solid ground) and use them to find reality. I really felt confident in that interview, for example. Humility is acknowledgement of reality. Putting oneself down is not humble. Self recrimination and even self mockery are often viewed as humility. This is the shadow side of humility: self-humiliation. Humility feels strong, humiliation feels like weakness
One opposing quality of humility is arrogance. For many years I thought of arrogance as a negative power. But still power. As I have considered this and observed my own behavior I have discovered that arrogance is weakness disguised as strength. Arrogance is a defense against the fear of humiliation, and not just arrogance but all of the cousins of arrogance too. Conceit, egoism, vanity, self importance and so on. These behaviors are covers for weakness and fears. They are paper tigers. They appear powerful but are in reality are flimsy and ineffectual.
Humility on the other hand, is a strength because it is based on reality. It is not a disguise and it does not hide itself behind pretensions or false personae. No matter how ordinary or unimpressive it is, reality is solid ground. So why is it so hard to practice? To learn humility is to risk humiliation. Humiliation is a deep human fear and is probably based on our primal need to belong and be accepted. Arrogance tries to appear confident and capable to cover up incompetency. Why? To avoid humiliation. To avoid rejection and exile.(It is interesting to note that arrogance often requires the humiliation of someone else.)
But it is difficult to humiliate someone who is humble. The humble person doesn’t take anything personally. Humiliation only reveals where we carry our shame and this too can be a place of solid ground. True confidence arises from humility and it is based on experience and skillfulness. It is grounded in reality and cannot be shaken or challenged. It simply is.
What are the ways in your life that you can practice humility? What is your solid ground? What are your high places? Where are you most afraid of being humiliated? Notice the difference between humility and self humiliation in yourself and in others.
Humility for me has been transformed. I recognize its great strength and the peace that comes with humility. It has become one of the great virtues that I strive to practice in my life. Whether it is meek and lowly or powerful and capable, I want to always find myself standing on the solid ground of humility.
