The Mediator/Meddler

The Mediator archetype is part of the family of Justice/Corruption archetypes. Others often confide in the Mediator and their demeanor is usually calming and one that invites disclosure and unburdening. The Mediator might find it awkward at times to be hearing both sides of a dilemma, but they have an ability to step outside of their emotional selves and become neutral even toward people they love deeply. Once operating from the energy of the Mediator, they are no longer particularly biased. Like the Judge in this way, the mediator is interested in balance and hearing both sides. The difference being, the Mediator can show understanding and support without losing their ability to be neutral. The Judge needs to remain detached completely. The Mediator enjoys the role of listening and takes pride in the fact that others trust them and will share their struggles and conflicts with them. They are great at asking questions because they are not trying to solve the problem but prefer to explore the issue more deeply. They can maintain impartiality within conflict and stay out of others business while still being involved. They are great at holding space for others and are non-judgmental about it. The Mediator is openminded and enjoys seeing multiple perspectives and encourages it even. The Mediator is quite good at seeing past the emotional upheavals and recognizing the root of a conflict. They can see the big picture and can offer a perspective to each side of the conflict without alienating anyone. They are fair minded and can genuinely see both sides of a conflict, as true to the experience of each person. They can hold the paradox of conflict and resolution at the same time. The Mediator is a people person and enjoys interacting with others. They are genuinely interested in others and their lives, and people feel this and open up with ease. Others feel heard and supported by the Mediator. Mediators make friends easily and can have relationships at every level, from very deep and intimate to light and cordial. They usual have a big network of friends and family members and get along well with almost anyone.

Keywords for the Mediator

1. Information
2. Multiple Perspectives
3. Open Minded
4. Impartial
5. Interested in Others
6. Emotional Neutrality
7. Supportive
8. Listening
9. Holding Space
10. Non Judgmental

The Meddler is the shadow side of the Mediator, drawn into conflicts that they really don’t have any reason to be involved in. They get caught in the middle of other’s issues and find they must navigate tricky waters, or they can bungle up their relationships. The Meddler loves information and knowing things about people. But they feel lopsided when the only know one version of events. The Meddler share some traits with the Gossip as they love information and getting the scoop on others. They love to be involved in conflicts because they like to be the one that fixes the situation. Meanwhile they completely ignore their own problems and inner conflicts and remain fixated on others issues. They want to be the friend that didn’t take sides but helped resolve everyone and sometimes they can try and negotiate a truce. But its too much. They get overinvolved in the affairs of others to the point of entanglement. The Meddler actually makes the conflict worse because they throw themselves into the mix making it more difficult for all parties to resolve the conflict. The Meddler also likes to be the center of the issue, knowing both sides of the story and then trying to go back and forth between parties, sharing this tidbit or that tidbit hoping to influence the outcome but not being fully honest and open about what they know. Withholding information is part of the meddlers strategy to solving the conflict without others realizing how involved they really are. They talk out of both sides of their mouth and disclose information that is private. The talk behind others’ backs and are not transparent in their motivations. They Meddler offers advice and suggestions hoping to curry favor with both sides, keeping their real motivations hidden. The real motive for the Meddler comes from insecurity, the need to feel important as well as the fear of losing connections. They are addicted to getting information out of others and can be quite adept at luring people into sharing their problems. They can find themselves keeping others’ secrets, being two-faced, and almost living a double life where no one knows the whole truth but them.  

They will agree when they don’t agree, say what others want to hear,  just to keep the person confiding and talking. The Meddler will eventually find themselves in hot water, with both parties feeling betrayed and trust is lost. The Meddler will soothe their discomfort by saying, “I was only trying to help.”

Keywords for the Meddler

1. Talking Behind Backs
2. Keeping Secrets
3. Two Faced
4. Entanglement
5. Loss of Trust
6. Withholding Information
7. Control of Outcome
8. Fixing Others’ Problems
9. Emotionally Cold
10. Using Others for Gain