Everyone has masculine and feminine energies. From an archetypal perspective this is vital to our well-being and is not just a matter of opinion or interpretation. Biologically this is also true in terms of hormones. Men and woman share the same hormones only in different degrees and toward different ends. In the same way we all share both qualities related to the masculine principle and qualities related to the feminine principle. It is valuable to know which pole in you is dominant and how to balance them in a way that is ideal, aligned with who you are and is functional. It is easy to think of the masculine and feminine as opposites and in many ways, they are, and function that way, but just like opposites attract they can be complimentary and interdependent. Let’s break them both down and see what we can learn about ourselves in the process. I have often thought about the masculine and feminine principles within myself as an inner mother, inner father particularly when trying to balance them. There are other expressions of the masculine and feminine, experienced through sexuality, relationships, and art but for the purposes of this article we will focus on the inner mother and inner father.
The Masculine Principle
Action and Goals
Thinking
Rationale
Knowledge
Decisive
Risk Taking
Order
Courage
Projecting
Striving
Developing
Future focused
Determined
Assertive
Outer World
The Inner Father
I have found that when someone is struggling with inertia, lack of drive, fear of consequences and a desire for comfort and safety, that person has a weak inner father. When someone suffers from self-doubt, fear of making mistakes, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and feelings of inferiority they have a tyrannical inner father. The tyrannical father is ruthless and unyielding, demanding, and aggressive. The inner father or the masculine principle helps us find our courage, to act on our own behalf. It also guides, inspires us to learn and develop. The masculine is connected to knowledge, education, drive, and ambition. The inner father can teach you how to be confident and capable, especially in the outer world. The masculine helps you take risks and tends to be linear and logical. The inner father can teach you to walk with your head high and step out into the world with self-reliance and daring. If you find you are lacking in any of these areas, you can know that your inner father needs to be developed.
The Feminine Principle
Creative
Chaos
Grounded
Relating
Practical
Emotion
Intuition
Open
Vulnerable
Sensitive
Reflective
Dignity
Inner World
Beauty
Nurturing
The Inner Mother
The inner mother or feminine principle can be just as troubling when it is not balanced or developed. For a person with a weak inner mother, they may struggle with staying grounded and connected to their feelings. The live in their head instead of their bodies. They don’t take time for themselves but constantly sacrifice for others. They may find self-care ridiculous and indulgent. Those with a weak inner mother, will use shame and guilt to control their own behaviors and they will apply it to others as well. The domineering inner mother makes one feel a loss of their identity, gullible and confused. Greed, lack, and selfishness are also features. The domineering inner mother prevents development and ends up creating a victim. The inner mother needs to be developed and then you will know how to care for yourself effortlessly and you will be connected to your body and the earth in a natural way. The inner mother can teach you how to feel peaceful in your environment and how to interact with others in ways that are supportive and cooperative. The inner mother does not judge but offers unconditional love and acceptance. The feminine principle will guide you toward beauty and creativity as high values.
Developing the Inner Mother and Father
One of the ways I have found for cultivating and strong and healthy inner mother or father is a method of active imagination that creates an image of the ideal figure. This can be especially useful if you have a situation in mind where you felt the negative consequences of an undeveloped masculine or feminine energy. Ask yourself, what would the Good Father say to me in this situation? How would the Good Mother treat me right now? Allow a picture to form in your mind. See this figure in your imagination. How are they dressed? What do they look like? What are the specific behaviors they perform in your mind’s eye? It can be helpful to write this down in a notebook. Then you can reference it later, when you need it. Once you have a framework for how the Good Mother and the Good Father this can be a guide to help you shift out of unwanted patterns of behavior and develop a balanced masculine and feminine self.
