Do I love money? Does money scare me? Is money really the root of all evil? Do I want to spend money? What does it mean then to relate to money?
There are two main types of folks here. Spenders and Savers and some combination of the two. Check out the list below for some common ways people relate to money:
- I spend money as fast as I get it and it doesn’t matter how much money I make it always seems like I have a hole in my pocket. I am always buying something and when I am not spending, I get a little antsy. I am living above my means.
- I really like spending money. I sometimes feel guilty for enjoying as much as I do but overall, I just find pleasure in spending. Saving is not too difficult but only if I am going to spend my savings on something amazing.
- I like to stow my money away in random places around my house. I worry about money disappearing, and I feel fear when I put all my money in one place. I also feel uncomfortable when other people know how much money I have.
- Never have enough, always struggling to pay bills and it feels like I never have enough. Whenever I get money, it feels like a new bill must be paid.
- I don’t think about money too much. I have what I need and when I need something it seems to become available through opportunities
- I hold onto my money. I like watching my savings account grow and grow. I have difficulty spending money and feel guilty when I do or suffer from buyers’ remorse.
- I’m good at managing money. I can spend or save equally. I make good judgments about money and see it as a medium through which I can do good for myself and others.
- I’m very careful with money. I always know exactly how much I have, how much my bills are, and I keep a close eye on my bank account. I take my time before making big purchases to make sure I will be happy with my decision. I often have mixed feelings when I spend money.
Now let’s reimagine each of these scenarios as if money were a person. And I want to be clear that these descriptions aren’t meant to be viewed as good or bad, only for looking at money through different lens. Hopefully, through this exercise you will find an improved way of relating to money.
Money: I spend money as fast as I get it and it doesn’t matter how much money I make it always seems like I have a hole in my pocket. I am always buying something and when I am not spending, I get a little antsy. I am living above my means.
Person: Whenever I am with my partner it seems our time together slips through my fingers like I am always wanting more time, more attention and I can never get enough. The more I get the more I want. This relationship would be characterized by high maintenance and drama.
Money: I really like spending money. I sometimes feel guilty for enjoying as much as I do but overall, I just find pleasure in spending. Saving is not too difficult but only if I am going to spend my savings on something amazing, like an expensive trip or a fancy piece of art.
Person: My relationship is very exciting and full of adventure and activities. I have a tendency to focus everything on my relationship and forget about my other responsibilities. Everything I do is for the relationship. This relationship would be characterized as passionate and exciting but unsustainable.
Money: I have to stow my money away in random places around my house. I worry about money disappearing, and I feel fear when I put all my money in one place. I also feel uncomfortable when other people know how much money I have.
Person: I am very worried about my relationship. I feel like I must check up on my partner and make sure they care about me all the time and when they say they do, I secretly don’t believe them. I wonder if they will be there for me when I really need them. This relationship is characterized by fear and unwillingness to trust.
Money: I never have enough money, I’m always struggling to pay bills and it feels like I never have enough. Whenever I get money, a new wave of random bills appear. I can never get ahead.
Person: I feel really insecure around my partner, and I am afraid to ask for what I want and need. Sometimes I wonder if I am even in a relationship. It feels very lacking and unfulfilling. This relationship is characterized by insecurity and inferiority.
Money: I don’t think about money too much. I have what I need and when I want something it seems to become available through opportunities and synchronicities.
Person: I’m very comfortable with my partner but we aren’t typical or very romantic, more like friends or roommates. But we take care of each other when it really matters. This relationship is characterized as relaxed with low expectations.
Money: I hold onto my money. I like watching my savings account grow and grow. I have difficulty spending money and feel guilty when I do or suffer from buyers’ remorse.
Person: I can be a little demanding of my partner. I like things to be a certain way and when my plans go wrong it really ruins my day. This relationship is characterized by clinginess and control.
Money: I’m good at managing money. I can spend or save equally. I make good judgments about money and see it as a medium through which I can do good for myself and others.
Person: I am happy in my relationship. There is give and take and we get along well. We like to support each other and do fun things together. This relationship is characterized as stable and secure but not particularly exciting.
Money: I’m very careful with money. I always know exactly how much I have, how much my bills are, and I keep a close eye on my bank account. I take my time before making big purchases to make sure I will be happy with my decision. I often have mixed feelings when I spend money.
Person: I’m quite invested in my partner. We do many things together and are very close. But I tend to like things my way and do whatever it takes to convince my partner to go along with it. I like to be in charge. This relationship is characterized as dominating but devoted.
Okay, I hope this list was helpful and gave you a new way of looking at your relationship with money. Here are a few questions to ask yourself going forward.
- Does my relationship with money work for me?
- Would I like my relationship with money to be better or different than it is?
- What are some changes I need to make regarding my relationship with money?
- What other areas of my life do I see this same pattern?
