What is narration? It is the telling part of the story. What do you tell yourself about your life? What stories do you perpetuate among your family and friends? Do you know how powerful these stories can be?
Here is an example from my own life.
I was told as a young person that I was disorganized. Maybe I was at that time in my life. Most young people struggle to maintain a clean and organized environment. But I accepted this story as true. Throughout my life, I reinforced the story whenever the topic came up. If someone told me I was organized I quickly corrected them with “have you looked in my cupboards?” In fact, when people came over to my house I would direct their attention to how messy it was even if it was pretty clean. I didn’t know I was doing any of this. But the real power of it, was the story I was telling myself and others. “I’m not a very organized person,” I might say. My kids heard me say this. Then they began saying, “Mom is not very organized.” The story became stronger and more true in my mind with every reinforcement.
One day I decided to work on this problem and I bought a book called Organize your Mind Organize your Life. I began reading the book and thought to myself, this is pretty basic stuff. I already do all of these suggestions. The examples of disorganized people in his book sounded nothing like me. The more I read the more I realized that this book was not helpful at all. I was living the advice he was giving in his book. Finally when I finished the book and learned absolutely nothing new, I had an epiphany. I was actually a very organized person. I began looking at my house, my bedroom closet, my car, thinking about how I worked through my day. I kept lists, my closets were tidy and it was always easy to find things. On my computer, I kept organized files of pictures arranged by date, folders accurately labeled and I kept records of everything. File drawers of bank statements, birth certificates, etc. I followed weekly menus, paid the bills on time and accomplished quite a lot. How was it possible that I believed that I was a disorganized person? Not only did I believe it but my family believed it too. Narration. I was narrating the story that I was disorganized. And it didn’t matter how much evidence was staring me in the face, I thought it was true because I kept saying it was. The story in my head was truer than the reality in front of me. From that point on, I narrated a different story. I pointed out to my kids and others the different ways in which I was organized. We talked about the different methods of organization and in short order I was seeing the truth of it.
Have you ever spent time with someone who is perpetually critical? They know how to see something wrong with everything. It can wear you down so fast. Pretty soon you are seeing everything through the same critical lens. You may not realize it but you are narrating only one perception and reinforcing it as the whole truth.
Okay, all that is well and good but how does the power of narration help me in areas of my life that are problems?
First, you have to investigate the stories that you tell yourself and others regularly. What are you so sure of that you repeat the story over and over? What do you tell your friends and family about yourself without a second thought whether or not it’s true or matches reality?
Try it with anything.
Take something you don’t like about yourself. View it from several different angles. Notice it in a way you have not considered before. The power of narration is noticing things and then speaking them. By speaking them we bring them into animation. We bring them to life. I could notice how tired I am and then start narrating how tired I am. Then all other realities get crowded out and all I see is tired. But I could notice that I had a busy and productive day and emphasize the feeling of accomplishment instead of exhaustion even though both are true. What I am suggesting is not positive affirmations but simply noticing a bigger, truer picture. Narration is a tool in how you choose to present yourself to others.
Stories can be powerful and the stories we tell ourselves and others are the most powerful ones of all.
