Projection

Have you ever seen a dog or cat see its own reflection in a mirror? They snarl and their hackles raise, or they try and take swipe at the mirror mistaking what they see, for another animal. That is exactly what projection is all about. We see someone behaving in a particular way. We have a strong reaction to this person and/or their behavior. We are seeing a mirror of ourselves in the other individual. And just like a mirror it isn’t entirely accurate; a mirror reverses the image and so too, projection isn’t exactly a replica of our own behavior either but it’s a pretty good clue to what is going on internally that we aren’t aware of.

Projection is a human behavior. Sigmund Freud called projection a defense mechanism to protect the ego. Carl Jung saw it as protection against the unknown. Joseph Campbell described it as the unconscious trying to become aware of itself. I think all three of these descriptions are accurate. The unknown and our fears are usually lurking in the unconscious anyway. We project these fears onto others not only to protect ourselves, which it temporarily does, but it also gives us the space and detachment to recognize that same behavior within ourselves, thus allowing self-knowledge to move from the unconscious to the conscious.

I like to think of the unconscious and the conscious as two different people within. My unconscious lives in my inner basement and is silent. My conscious lives upstairs and talks nonstop about anything and everything. My upstairs person lives where there is a lot of light, it is bright and clear. There, the world makes sense. This is where I compartmentalize, organize, label, and arrange, often sending things to the basement that I don’t want to acknowledge or that I no longer find useful. Once something gets sent to the basement, I forget it ever existed. There are also some things that have been in basement for so long I never knew they existed in the first place.

My basement is like the storage unit, it is the place where everything is boxed up and put away. My basement person has access to my darkness, my secrets, my fears and insecurities, my longing and desires, wishes, and fantasies. This is where my dreams are experienced, memories are remembered, and pretty much everything that has ever happened to me is here, in my basement. But the basement person cannot leave and go upstairs. The upstairs person cannot enter the basement. My basement person has all the information but doesn’t understand how it connects or why it matters only that it is important to get the information to the upstairs person. It has access to aspects of myself of which my upstairs person is clueless but could really use. If only they could communicate! Enter projection.

The unconscious projects what it knows, the secrets and insecurities onto another person. (And sometimes even plants and animals.) Now all those secrets are out and stuck, like post-it notes onto another person, messages from the basement self to the upstairs self. I see all these sticky notes and I think the messages are about the person who is wearing them, but they are really messages from me, to me! These messages will help me see what is in my own basement. How else can I know the unknown? Projection provides the distance necessary to gradually learn to look at what is difficult or what I have avoided. Through projection I can get a clear picture of myself without confronting it directly. This allows me to gradually learn to look at what is difficult by seeing it in others and then recognizing the same patterns in myself. Like looking directly at the sun, it will blind you if you try that too often.

There are different kinds of projections. Here are a few common ones I have noticed.  

Preference projection

Defensive projection

Victimizing projection

Judgmental projection

Victimizing projection: “No one ever listens to me.” (Projection: I am not listening to my own needs and so I have projected the “not listening” onto those around me.)

Defensive projection: “I would never yell at my kids.” (Projection: I yell at myself all the time and yell at my kids in my head.)

Judgmental projection: “My neighbor is so loud and obnoxious.” (Projection: I am loud and obnoxious in my complaining about other people. Or more subtly, I wish I could express myself without worrying what others think.

Preference projection: “I like listening to music while driving.” (Projection: Other people enjoys listening to music while driving.)

Rejection projection: “I hate wintertime.” (Projection: I am reminded of my painful divorce that happened during a particularly cold winter.)

Projection is necessary to protect us from too much painful truth all at once and it allows the unconscious to see itself in a mirror. We only have to remember that what is in the mirror is not reality but a projection of ourselves. Once recognized projection can offer an enormous amount of information to us that is normally outside our awareness.

It is important to note when you feel someone else is projecting onto you, don’t take what they say too personally. Whenever someone says something negative or harsh it is almost always a projection. There may be some truth to what they are saying or there may be no truth to it all, but that is for you to discover. Projection is a powerful tool for self-discovery, and you can use this tool to enhance the way you interact with others and yourself.