The Gossip
The Gossip is an archetypal pattern most people can relate to at least a little bit. We have all imbibed in the act of gossip from time to time. There is power in information and it is human nature to want to have the kind of power secret information provides. But to own this archetype the pattern of behavior both light and shadow must be pervasive throughout one’s lifetime.
We all know that one person who likes to tell everyone the news. The one who thrills in being the first to see the looks of shock or surprise on others faces. The Gossip uses information as currency. It gives them a sense of power and they can withhold that information or reveal it according to their whims. Societies even rely on them to keep folks updated on what is going on, particularly behind the scenes. Either way, this very common archetype shows up in our own lives. All of us have spread gossip at one time or another. We all recognize the power of information. But to have this archetype as one of your own you must see this pattern of behavior throughout your entire life as well as indicators of the Confidante too.
Chaos
The Gossip archetype enjoys spreading a bit of chaos. They like they way the right information delivered at the right time can disrupt a perfectly normal day. The Gossip enjoys shocking others and getting a reaction when someone hears news. They have a cavalier attitude about information. It doesn’t cost them anything and they scoop it up wherever they find it. In the chaos more information is spilled and the Gossip enjoys gathering up as much as they can.
Information as Power
The Gossip knows that information is power. They use this power to feel important and they are adept at getting people to reveal information too. The Gossip is similar to the paparazzi and the media. They feel it is their job to tell everyone what is going on without the slightest regard for the consequences. “People should know about this,” is a common refrain for the Gossip archetype. This is used justify the behavior and it keeps the Gossip from gaining awareness that will allow the transformation from shadow to light. The truth is, the Gossip enjoys the feeling of importance and superiority of knowing something others do not know.
The First to Know
The Gossip keeps a low ear to the ground so that they can be the first to hear what is going on. They will even go so far as snooping and eavesdropping just to grab a bit of juicy info about someone. They are tapped in to the grapevine and the Gossip likes to be the first one to know the news and the first one to reveal it. This is an important aspect to the Gossip. They feel deflated when they tell someone some bit of gossip and the person has already heard it from someone else.
Using People
Without people gossip is pointless. The Gossip sees other people as a means to an end. They use people in whatever way suits them and because the harm caused by gossip is often indirect they don’t take responsibility for it. They enjoy being the source of information and they have a false sense of feeling needed when others seek them out for information. Ultimately the Gossip sees other people as a means to an end. They view others as a source of information rather than human beings who may be impacted by the gossip.
The Gossip is a difficult archetype to own. Most of us judge the Gossip quite harshly, likely because we have all done it in varying degrees. But awareness is the first step to transformation so it is important to take an honest look at ourselves. Doing so through archetypal patterns makes it that much easier.
Some words and phrases associated with the Gossip Archetype
- Greedy
- Indifferent
- Irresponsible
- In the Know
- Superiority
- Disruption
- Information and News
- Power
The Confidante
Respect
One of the key aspects of the Confidante is respect. They offer this respect to all people that they interact with and will not violate others’ boundaries or desires. This natural respect makes others feel at ease with the Confidante and creates the environment for sharing and connection to occur. The Confidante doesn’t have to tell others the he or she will be respectful of the information shared because they exhibit traits of honor and respect. People naturally trust them, and the Confidante strives to always be worthy of that trust.
Privacy versus Secrets
The Confidante does not keep others’ secrets. They know the difference between keeping secrets and maintaining privacy for others. A secret is most easily identified by the burden it creates for the carrier. A secret is laden with expectation and feels heavy. Secrecy is dark and feels like shame. Private information always feels like a choice and is not a burden. They choose to keep certain information private, not because someone asked them to do so, but because they see the wisdom in it.
Information as Power
The Confidante is always being given information. Some of the information is private, some of it is irrelevant but for the Confidante all of it is valuable. They recognize that information is power, and they will not abuse that power. They may know something about another person and recognize that others are unaware of what they know. This is power. The Confidante is tempted to use this power, but they recognize that it is destructive and harmful. The goal of the Confidante is like the Hippocratic oath to Do No Harm, so they are very careful with information that they are given.
Connection and Non-judgment
The Confidante enjoys being connected to others. It really doesn’t matter if the connection for a few minutes or a lifelong friendship, connection drives this archetype. They have a sincere interest in other people and are often students of human nature. They don’t usually offer advice but when they do pay it is simple and straightforward. The Confidante always withholds judgment because they aren’t interested in putting people into a box. Confidantes make excellent friends, and everyone needs at least one in their life.
Some key words and phrases associated with this archetype:
- Supportive
- Understanding
- Integrity
- Interested
- Respectful
- Trustworthy
- Discerning
- Restraint
- Connection
A few questions to ask to help transform the Gossip into the Confidante:
- What is your motivation for sharing information?
- What is the value of the information you hold?
- How are you responsible for your words?
- What discomfort do you experience when you do not share information that you know?
- How do you view others when you are spreading information?
- How much of your gossiping is an opportunity to ruthlessly judge others?
- What does restraint feel like? Mentally and physically?
- What is at risk for you personally when you share others information?
- Can you articulate the feelings of disconnect you experience when gossiping?
- What are some of the consequences you have faced?
